


Jealousy

by camseydavis (orphan_account)



Series: Company Calls [2]
Category: Bandom, Paramore
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-28
Updated: 2013-05-28
Packaged: 2017-12-13 05:12:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/820387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/camseydavis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How to cope with jealousy, in the style of Josh Farro.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jealousy

  
Josh was not jealous. Nope, not at all, he was happy for both Hayley and Taylor and there was absolutely no reason for him to be jealous. His relationship with Hayley had ended a long time ago, and right now he was a happily married man, and he did love Jenna.

Except, he was a little bit jealous.

He told himself he wouldn't be jealous, even if the fact that Hayley was dating the second guitarist of _their band_ rubbed him the wrong way because she had used the "This isn't good for the band" excuse to break up with him. That was hypocrisy at it's best. Alright, he knew the real reason she broke up with him went along the lines of "You're a jealous, controlling asshole and if you're gonna go punch every guy who looks at me then we won't have any fans left by the time this tour is over" (Which wasn't true, because Josh was never anything but a gentleman, thank you very much), but still. Hypocrite.

Obviously, that was after they started making out everywhere. Literally. Josh went to the bathroom and they were locked in there, making out. He went to see a movie and they were on the couch, making out. He went to the kitchen and they were practically laying on the table with a bowl of cereal left forgotten because, indeed, they were making out. At night, he could hear Taylor sneaking off to sleep on Hayley's bunk which was directly above his, and then the hushed sounds of... Yes, making out. They were everywhere. Them and their uncontrollable hormones.

Josh, obviously, wasn't going to admit the real reason that made him angry was because, even at the best moment of his relationship with Hayley, they never made out that much.

The last straw was when they started to act all couple-y right before the shows. In front of the fans. Who acted like they were witnessing the second coming of Jesus.

"...so he said he had always had a crush on me and I almost cried because I always had, too. So I kissed him, and it was great." Hayley said, clinging to Taylor like a monkey to a tree. Taylor had his arm around her, and the four fans surrounding them swooned, literally. One of them (the black-haired one) had to lean on his friend's shoulder, all while Hayley and Taylor looked at each other like nobody else existed. And then they kissed. And the four fans yelled.

"YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE!" A blonde girl said in a high-pitched voice. Hayley laughed softly, and the flattering continued.

"Gross." Josh muttered, leaning against a wall. Zac, standing beside him, rolled his eyes.

"I can _see_ your jealousy. See it, Josh. It has green eyes and it's and fat and taller than you. And it's staring at Tayley, there." Zac said.

"You're- You just called them Tayley, Zac. Are you serious?" Josh said in response, narrowing his eyes. Zac shrugged.

"It's easier than calling them 'Taylor and Hayley'. You know I'm a lazy person, I was born this way." Zac replied. "But, hey, bro. You need to sort this out, because you're married. And seriously, your crankiness is making _me_ cranky. Me, Josh. I am cranky. Because of you."

"I'm not jealous, Zac. They're just sickening, seriously. I'm happy for them, but-"

"Yep, definitely jealous." Zac interrupted him, and left, shaking his head. Another high-pitched squeal, and Josh sighed loudly. He was not in the mood to deal with that.

-o-

On the first show of the tour, they kissed a total of seven times. They also decided the best way to interact was to keep running into each other, so Hayley fell three times. Also, Hayley very pointedly dedicated The Only Exception to Taylor (she said "And this song is for the love of my life, who's standing right there. I love you, baby" while pointing at Taylor, whose dumbstruck face could probably be seen from space) and when it was time to introduce the band, since Taylor always introduced Hayley with the "she likes to sing" speech, he decided it would be a great idea to finish it with "Oh, and she likes me a lot, too" which resulted on Hayley replying "I love you" and then Taylor saying "I love you too" and the crowd cheering for so long they had to shush them in order to finish Pressure. Hayley also begged at Josh to let Taylor play the acoustic set with her. And Josh couldn't say no, because he was a team player and he didn't want both Hayley and Taylor to glare at him the whole night.

They played My Heart, kissed at the end, and a girl on front row fainted at the sight. If Josh had been playing, that could've been avoided, but no, the lovebirds couldn't stand to be apart during the fifteen minutes the acoustic set lasted. God, they were sickening.

During the remaining songs of the acoustic set, Jon was looking at them from the sidelines, next to Josh, who was huffing.

"You, my friend, need to stop." Jon said, still looking at Hayley and Taylor. Josh raised an eyebrow.

"Stop doing what?" He asked.

"Stop glaring at Hayley and Taylor like they ruined your life. They're happy together, and you're married. Go call Jenna or something, but seriously, stop." Jon replied, and walked away.

Josh did end up calling Jenna, but that's because he was a great husband. Nothing else.

-o-

A few weeks later, Josh was sitting on an uncomfortable plastic chair backstage, staring at Hayley (who was sitting on Taylor's lap, playing absentmindedly with his hair and kissing his temple in the most disgustingly couple-y way he had ever seen them act) when Jeremy approached him.

"Dude, even I can see it." Jeremy said, and Josh looked at him.

"See what?" Josh asked, pretending not to know what this was about. But he knew, because not only he felt like it was obvious, but everybody had been telling him the same lately.

"Their relationship" Jeremy said, pointing to Hayley and Taylor, "is driving you crazy, and it needs to stop. Look, they are a lot to take in, I know, but Hayles hadn't smiled like that in weeks and Taylor is shining, Josh. Shining. I can see the way his eyes light up whenever he's around Hayley from a mile away. Oh, and you're married. If you don't put a stop on this soon, this is gonna blow up and let me tell you, it ain't gonna be pretty." Jeremy finished, shaking his head for effect. Josh was frowning.

"I'm not jealous!" Josh replied, a little too loudly. The few people in the room turned to look at him, except of course for Hayley and Taylor because they were busy staring adoringly at each other. He lowered his voice. "I just find their excessive PDA a little sickening, seriously. I was never this bad with Jenna, or Tabitha, or Hayley herself for that matter. _You_ were never this bad with Sarah or Jessie, and no offense but Kathryn seems like the public face-eater type. And you seem like the public face-eater type. If there's someone in this band who looks like the PDA type, that's you, and you're not! I don't know what's _wrong_ with them." Josh finished, and Jeremy stared at him for a few seconds before bursting into loud laughter. Both Hayley and Taylor turned to look at them, questioning.

"Everything okay over there?" Taylor asked. Jeremy kept laughing.

"Oh, oh. No. Nothing, Josh is just je-" Josh immediately snapped a hand over Jeremy's mouth, who burst into laughter again.

"I'm a funny individual." He said, walking away and dragging Jeremy with him.

-o-

Josh decided he had to do something about it before it got worse. He just didn't know what exactly he had to do, because cornering both Hayley and Taylor and say "Guys, your excessive PDA is making me insanely angry and you need to stop" wasn't exactly the most appropriate way to go.

Luckily for him, Hayley approached him that same day, and even more surprisingly, she was on her own. She was _alone_. No Taylor in sight.

"Josh, do you have a minute?" She asked him, and Josh gaped at her.

"W- Did you have a fight with Taylor?" He asked in return, and then slapped himself mentally because _that was not a good way to start that conversation_.

"What? No!" Hayley replied, frowning. "Why would you think that? No, we're okay. More than okay. Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." Now it was Josh's turn to frown. That was _so_ not what he wanted to hear.

"About... you and Taylor?" He asked. Hayley grinned.

"Yes, about me and Taylor. I mean, no. About what you think about me and Taylor." Okay, that wasn't good. Josh was starting to panic a little. That was not going to end up good. "We haven't talked much recently and I feel like I don't know what you think. And your opinion is important to me because you're my friend." She said.

"I'm... I approve." Josh said, lamely. "I'm glad you guys are happy." Alright, that was it. Now or never. "I just feel like your PDA is a little over the top?" Hayley's expression changed immediately.

"Oh, please, we're not that bad." Hayley replied. And... that was it. Josh snorted out loud.

"You- you're not that bad. Oh my God." Josh couldn't stop laughing. "You're not that bad? You, oh, oh my God, you keep kissing on stage and dedicating songs to each other and _he's playing the acoustic set with you_ , Hayley. Oh my God you're really, really bad. Really bad. You guys need to tone it down, seriously, you're all over each other, it's kind of disgusting." Josh finished, taking a few breaths to calm down. God, that was funny. They weren't bad? THEY WEREN'T _BAD_? That was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard.

That's when he noticed Hayley was giving him a death glare. And that's when he realized what he just said, and his laughter was effectively killed.

"You are an asshole." Hayley retorted, and turned to leave. Josh grabbed her arm and pulled her back, to keep her from leaving. Too hard, apparently. Because her mouth ended right on top of his.

Usually, in movies, that's the moment where of the people involved has _the revelation_. It includes some kind of epiphany about one's feelings, and it's followed by "I'm in love with you" "Oh, me too, I've always been in love with you" and more kissing.

In this case, it was nothing like that. First, Josh's epiphany wasn't even that great. It was, mostly, that he was jealous, which he knew already. He was really, insanely jealous. And it wasn't because he never made out that much with Jenna, or because their PDA was gross or over the top. He was jealous because he wanted to be the one being gross and over the top with Hayley. He was married, and Hayley was with Taylor, and yet, because of an unconscious move he had just made, he realized still had feelings for her.

Crap.

Hayley pulled back a few seconds later, and Josh's first instinct was to apologize.

"Oh God, I'm sorry, I don't know what has gotten into m-" Hayley chose that moment to slap him right in the face, and, despite Josh's best efforts, leave anyway. And now, Josh was left thinking about a way to make this whole thing right, because right now, he was screwed in more ways he could count.

-o-

"So, you kissed my girlfriend." Taylor said, sitting next to Josh, who was sprawled on the couch of the tour bus.

He knew he had to have that conversation with Taylor, eventually. He just hoped that _eventually_ was far, far away. He didn't want to look Taylor in the eyes and say 'Yes, man, I kissed your girlfriend. Who happens to be my ex-girlfriend for whom I still have feelings. Complicated, right?' He was too young, poor little naive Taylor, and he didn't understand the wonders of the world yet.

Alright, judging by the amount of making out, he probably did. Josh was just looking for excuses not to face this. And that was an asshole-ish thing to do. Yes, Hayley was right, he was an asshole.

"I'm an asshole." Josh groaned, still facing the sofa. "You should probably punch me, I won't get mad." Taylor, to Josh's surprise, started to laugh.

"I know you still love her, Josh. I'm not mad." Taylor said, smiling a little. "Okay, no. I am a little mad. You kissed my girlfriend, and I know it was against her will so we need to have a talk about consent, and you're also married so that's another talk, about loyalty. But I won't punch you because... I guess I understand?" Taylor offered. Josh turned his head to look at him.

"What? Taylor, I kissed your girlfriend."

"I know you did. And, if you don't mind, can you stop saying that? It is making me quite angry, now that I think about it." Taylor said. Josh went back to facing the sofa. "Hey, I'm kidding. But, really, even though she is my girlfriend and sometimes I feel like I should be defending her honor and stuff, I know she's a grown woman and she doesn't need me for that. You're a grown man, too. You should go talk to her. And, I guess if it's not much trouble, can you please not kiss her this time around? You know, just because she's taken and stuff. And because you are married. Unless she wants you to, but try not to." Taylor finished. Josh pulled himself upright, and faced Taylor.

"Should I, um. Say thank you? For understanding and not giving my attractive face an ugly bruise?" Josh joked. Taylor laughed, and gave Josh an one-armed hug.

"It's cool, dude. You know it is."

-o-

Josh walked to Hayley a few hours before their next show. When she saw him approaching her, she and took a deep breath and with that, Josh knew she wasn't ready to talk. Or maybe she was, she just didn't want to. Either case, it was better to get this over and done with, so he didn't try to talk himself out of it.

"Hayley? We need to talk." Josh said, looking at her. For a moment, he thought she was going to come up with an excuse and leave, and she was probably going to but decided against it, and sighed instead.

"I know. Uh, do you wanna go to the dressing room?" She offered. Josh nodded. "Okay, let's go." She said. When they got there, she took a seat and looked at Josh, expectantly.

"I guess I should start by apologizing?" Josh said. Hayley gave him a little smile. "I kissed you without your permission, which I know is a shitty thing to do. I also laughed at your face when you said your PDA with Taylor wasn't bad, which is also shitty but hey, it's true, but the thing is, even though it makes me angry I had no right to say that..." Hayley was smiling openly now, and Josh raised an eyebrow. "Why are you smiling at me?"

"So you still have feelings for me. Feels good to have the confirmation." Hayley replied, still smiling. Josh stared at her.

"I- you- what?"

"I know you still have feelings for me, Josh. I started to suspect it when we had that band meeting right before your wedding and you hinted at wanting someone to speak up at your wedding and looked at me. You've never been subtle." She said. Josh was openly gaping.

"But... I didn't even know at that moment? I don't even remember doing that? How can you know that before I do?" Josh asked. And then realized he had basically confirmed her that he still had feelings. Even though, you know. He was married and she was in a (very public) relationship.

"Because I know you, Josh." Hayley replied. "Look, when we broke up, I wasn't over you. I broke up with you because we were kids, and the relationship was unhealthy for me and I didn't want that. And an unhealthy relationship between us was going to end up affecting the band, which, indirectly, it did anyway. But I still loved you. I do love you." She said, and stood up to stand in front of Josh, holding his hands. Her eyes were softening as she spoke, and Josh was speechless. When he imagined the talk, he definitely didn't imagine this. He imagined a few punches coming from Hayley, and a lot of yelling. But, this? Nope. Not even in his wildest dreams.

"Uh." He said, because he couldn't form any coherent words.

"I know you probably thought I was an hypocrite because right now I am in a relationship with one of my band mates, too. And I love Taylor a lot, and I'm not sure if I should be telling _you_ this but I can imagine a future with him, but it's because this time is different. We've all grown up, now. Now I feel like I can be in a relationship with Taylor without compromising the band's well-being. And, well, yes, the fact that you still have feelings for me makes things more complicated now, but, okay." Hayley took a deep breath. Josh knew what she was going to say would change things. "For what it's worth, I did think about speaking up at your wedding. Because sometimes, when I'm awake at night, I like to think you would've run away with me. I don't think it changes things now, but at the time, it could have. And maybe if you weren't married and if I wasn't in a happy, committed relationship... Maybe we could have tried to be together. I would have liked that."

When Hayley finished, she closed the space between the two of them and gave him a little peck on the lips. And Josh, who was tearing up, savored the moment because he knew it would be the last.

He would keep watching Hayley and Taylor kiss on stage, and backstage, and on the tour bus, and everywhere. He would go home to Jenna, he would talk to her and try to fix what she didn't know was broken. The band would keep going on tours, and Josh and Hayley would never talk about it again.

But at that moment, the moment he knew would be the last, he was happy. Because not only he had closure, but he knew that, in another life, in another circumstances, they would've worked. And that was enough.  


**Author's Note:**

> God, okay. This is a really, really belated birthday present for one of my best friends ever. I... know for a fact she liked it a lot, which makes me happy because that was the idea. And... that's all.


End file.
